..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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