he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
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we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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