I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We are all done wearing pants today
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
