good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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