apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
