How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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