Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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