is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
