I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
