What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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