I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
