Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
