Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
