You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
