dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
