Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
