@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
