Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize