I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
