The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
