so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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