He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
