new low.... made out with someone while peeing
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
