So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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