I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
