Do you still have your period?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
