dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
