my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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