Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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