i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How naked do you want me to be?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
