She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize