Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
