I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
