why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
