He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's never too late to be topless.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
