I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
