the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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