Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize