Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
