it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
