I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
