Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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