i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
