i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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