Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
