Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
