I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
