i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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