There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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