Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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