Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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