did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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