Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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