they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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