here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize