He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I deserve this hangover.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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