oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
