she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
